April 26th, 2015
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Heroic Blackhand Down

Mythics incoming!

blackhand

March 2nd, 2015
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We are back in action!

WoWScrnShot_022715_162227

After almost a 3 year hiatus, we’re back and raiding in Warlords of Draenor. Our raids are Tue/Thurs/Sun 7-10 pm Pacific(server).

We’re currently 6/10 Heroic Blackrock Foundry, 8/10 Normal Blackrock Foundry, and  7/7 Heroic Highmaul.  Current progression can be found at http://www.wowprogress.com/guild/us/kilrogg/Grandeur

To check into our recruitment needs, contact  Venestia#1246 / Gano#1529, or if you’re already on Kilrogg, Tahmi / Vinge.

July 18th, 2012

“All good things…”

I’m sure you all know how that quote concludes. It’s been a long run since I created Zestrenocya at 9am pacific on November 23, 2004, but that run is finally over for us and the rest of Grandeur. Effective today, July 17, 2012, Grandeur (formerly Delusions of Grandeur) has ceased operations.

I would like to personally thank all those people who have helped me keep the guild running for almost eight years, but in particular those many officers who selflessly put themselves out day-in and day-out to keep the guild running. Among them were Kendon, who was our first guild leader, Alm(aix), Pitch, Ganon, Tinzen, Kyns/Vaellen, Moonsilver, and, I’m sure, a few that my old brain has omitted. I hope you don’t take offense.

I would like to especially thank Tanix, our final guild leader (who kept me playing about 20 times when I wanted to quit…thanks for all the patience with my whining) and Herat who were there at the conclusion of our operations. Our forums will remain up indefinitely and I can be reached there by anyone as can Tanix or several of our older members. It will remain my home page for the foreseeable future. I check there almost every day.

I’ll miss playing several times a week with all of you, but I hope that we’ll be in a game with one another again sometime in the future. Thanks again for all the great memories and good times. I love you guys.

Zestrenocya

May 1st, 2012

Batgirl and a Massive Movie

A couple of quick little things for those of you who enjoy reading my mindless ramblings.

First of all, a big round of congratulations for Alm who’s boss finally didn’t schedule him to work until closing on a Tuesday night, allowing him to turn his toon into Barbara Gordon and sprout nifty batwings as seen below. Since he’s our only rogue, this will be the only legendary post for us this cycle. Yes, I have a rogue alt. No, I am not competent on my rogue…not even a little competent.

Additionally, we have an embed from our warlock, Ashlynne, who took footage of our raids from his own point-of-view and melded it in with stuff from Herat and Teribleterry to come up with one of those neat multi-perspective highlight videos. Of course, those of you who remember Ashlynne’s work from Firelands know that you can expect wonderful warlock humor interspersed throughout the post. Great job Ashlynne.

April 10th, 2012

“We all go a little mad sometimes.”

Norman Bates: It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?

Marion Crane: Yes. Sometimes just one time can be enough.

Psycho

The Madness of Deathwing. It took longer for me to finally think of what I was going to do with the kill post than for us to actually kill it I think, but here it is…the penultimate news post of Grandeur’s trek through the Cataclysm expansion. There will be one more post in a few days I hope as one of our many video producers is working on his masterpiece. As soon as it’s complete, I’ll share it with all of you.

I know a good many players find the game has been “dumbed down” and/or has grown stale, but I for one actually enjoyed this final tier of the expansion, even though the fights didn’t provide as much fodder for my twisted sense of humor as some of the earlier content did. Maybe I’m getting old, but the 125 or so attempts to down heroic Spine is about my limit now. The days of tolerating 400+ tries to down a boss are in my past I think. If I tried to do that anymore, I think I’d be like Norman Bates…

I think I’d go a little mad.

Madness was what ultimately got me to thinking. The Madness of Deathwing. So what, exactly, was his madness? Freud would probably diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Delusions of Grandeur. But think of all the madness you could endure in the final encounter of the expansion as a player. I thought I might list a few for your enjoyment.

First of all, repeatedly wiping to Deathwing on the final platform might drive you over the edge and turn you into a Psychopath. You can check to see if this has occurred right here on our news feed in one of two ways. First of all, you could read the following:

Or, alternatively, you might just look in the mirror and see if you bear any sort of resemblance to this fella:

As a note, you’re almost certainly a psychopath if you know anyone named “Clarice.” Please take it under advisement.

If you’re a raid leader and you ARE wiping repeatedly on the final platform, you may resort to desperate techniques to alleviate the pain. For example, you might be a kindred spirit of this young lady.

Just in case you need help with defining what it means to be a Cutter, the internet is, as always, at your beck and call!

Finally, you might find yourself being driven bonkers by another phenomenon common to the World of Warcraft raiding scene. This is particularly common when someone foolishly says in mumble, “Well, that 2 percent wipe sucked, but it’s no problem now. We should kill it in one or two more attempts.” (I’m looking at you, Teribleterry.) Inevitably, this will lead to six or so hours of repeated wiping on the second platform as people get one-shot by a variety of mechanics that they were earlier avoiding in their sleep. This indicates that your raid is showing symptoms best illustrated by this design:

Tell me that’s not the coolest manic-depressive picture you’ve ever seen.

Anyway, in my research for this post, I also came across one of the…oddest…websites I’ve ever seen. Apparently there’s this dude out there who’s obsessed with the names of phobias. (In itself, I’m sure this constitutes some sort of obsessive-compulsive issue, but I digress.) I delved down into the list and found quite a few phobias that may be related to or even possibly caused by the Madness of Deathwing encounter. Either way, I offer this to you, the loyal readers of this page, as things you might want to watch out for should you be working on heroic Madness. Symptoms may present suddenly, but are more common after several wipes.

Myxophobia could conceivably be caused by repeated exposure to the Madness of Deathwing. I mean, I know they’re supposed to be formed of the corruption of the old gods and everything, but most of the stuff that lands on the platform in that encounter seems like slime to me.

In addition to slime problems, you can also be infected with parasites during Deathwing’s Madness. Not everything is always bad though. Consider:

A good deal of the shit that attacks you during Madness is blood of something or other. I suspect this disorder might be common:

And you have to watch out. Your fellow raiders might also be inflicted with an irrational fear of the help you’re given during the fight. Consider this…

Worst of all, the very platforms upon which you fight for the preservation of the world can turn against you. All of us refer to them as “the red platform” and “the blue platform,” don’t we? Well, this in itself could be a problem!

Last but certainly not least, in my continuing effort to keep my readers educated on all topics both subtle and gross, I give you this beauty. I dream of the day one of those little smart-ass fuckers at the Scripps Spelling Bee gets this number as a word in the seventh round:

Anyway, watch out for these crazy disorders. They could crop up at any time.

As usual, at the end of our posts, I give you the money shot. Er. I mean the kill shot. I always get those mixed up. Although I had to get creative this time since even though I actually remembered to get a screenshot this time, there’s not really a good deal to screenshot once you dispatch Deathwing. But here’s what I can offer:

Enjoy the farming until Cataclysm. I’ll be back with one last monster video of our trip through Dragon Soul very soon, but for now enjoy the efforts of our usual videographers, Teribleterry and Herat, with their final offerings of this expansion. See you in Pandaland.

March 22nd, 2012

Oh my achin’ back!

One quiet afternoon in Theramore…

“Ahem. Well that’s very interesting, sir, but you’ve reached the offices of Dragon Chiropractic. If you’d like to make an appointment, I’d be happy to help you. However, if you were looking for the offices for Cataclysm Injuries and Associated Maimings, I can transfer you.”

“Oh. Uh. Sorry, no. That whole spiel is in my contract. I have to give it every time I talk to someone new. You understand.”

“Of course, sir. How may I help you today?”

“Dr. Proudmoore had a cancellation at 2:30 this afternoon if that would be convenient? Some red dragon was supposed to come in, but they were incinerated last night.”

“Oh. Right. I remember her. Wonderful wings. Er. Apologies. 2:30 would be fabulous. I just have to strafe a few farms outside Stormwind and drop a fireball on this Tauren village west of Thunder Bluff and I’ll be right over!”

“We’ll see you then.”

(About ninety minutes and 147 dead innocent bystanders later…)

(As an aside, I would totally have back problems like…weekly.)

“Good afternoon Mr. Deathwing. What seems to be the problem?”

“Why am I trying to kill all the humanoids again? Cuz you’re HOT. Oh crap. Wait. Sorry. First thing’s first.”

“Excellent, Mr. Deathwing. Now that we have that out of the way, why don’t you tell me what the problem is.”

“Well, Doctor. My back is killing me. I seem to have these growths or something like stuff is sticking through the skin. I thought maybe you could help me.”

(Dr. Proudmoore inspects things.)

“Just relax and breathe out, Mr. Deathwing.”

CRACK! POP!

SHIVVLE!

“There, that should take care of things for now. In the meantime, I think you should take this with you and read it over. The pamphlet will tell you how to avoid having these problems in the future. In particular, pay attention to the things to avoid on page 11.”

Page 11:

———————————-

Ah, the wonders of modern medicine! Unfortunately for Deathwing, we finally did manage to punch through his stomach and rip out his spine. I provide you with video chronicles of the event below from Teribleterry and Herat respectively. We’ll be back soon with the last in our series of cataclysm posts before we wander off towards the Mists of Pandaland.

February 21st, 2012

I’m running a bit behind…

But I have an excuse. You might not think it’s a very good excuse, but it is an excuse. I’ve become addicted to Arkham Horror recently…or more properly I’ve renewed my addiction…and I’ve been busy playing countless games against the great old ones. As befits the standing of evil gods, they regularly kick my sorry ass. But I keep trying.

Anyway, I blame the fact that we killed Warmaster Blackhorn 10 days ago and I’m just now getting around to the kill post on this cuddly fella:

(Sadly, I should mention that my love affair with Cthulhu goes back years. I have several cuddly Cthulhu stuffed animals. My wife won’t let me keep them on the bed.)

(And yes, for those of you not versed in the works of HP Lovecraft, the WoW devs totally plagiarized that shit for their old gods.)

Another reason that I’ve been loathe to put up a kill post for Warmaster is that I was trying to think of a suitable theme. I came up with several, but none of them seemed quite right. Allow me to illustrate:

Now the real question with that illustration is how many of my guildies will actually recognize the reference. I know Gano will because he’s almost as old as I am. I watched that shit in FIRST RUN on network TV though. Of course, I really only watched it because Fantasy Island was on afterwards.

I also thought of doing something with this theme:

However, I wasn’t sure who would be Captain Bligh. Is it me because I’m the raid leader? Or is it Tanix because he’s the GM? I figured the role of Fletcher Christian would easily be filled by Ashlynne. Those warlocks are always willing to kill somebody! (Yes, I can hear some of you going “What the fuck are you talking about Zest?!?!?!?” Click here for help. Let the education of the masses continue!)

And of course, what naval themed post would be complete without a picture of the old girl herself.

They said God couldn’t sink her. Students of history will note that God had words with them during her maiden voyage. The Titanic reference is oddly appropriate. We didn’t hit an iceberg with Gunship 2.0, but there were times when it felt like we were flying the boat into a brick fuckin’ wall. And let me tell you, I will never be able to hear the words “All ahead full!” again without hearing them in a shitty dwarven accent. Sorta like I can’t hear “Great News!” from anyone without immediately responding with Professor Putricide’s voice. WoW voice acting can melt your brain.

Anyway, I kept trying to come up with just the right theme between games of Arkham Horror, and I kept not quite finding the right tone. And then it was ten days later and I thought I’d better get something up before we killed Spine this next reset. (Yes, that is optimism. I’m sure I’m confusing a bunch of you!) So instead of a themed post, you get more stream of consciousness ramblings.

On the plus side, I finally got a real corpse kill shot. Here you go:

I leave you with more movie making magic from Teribleterry and Herat. I hear tell that our videographers are working on a master compilation of some sort. I will share it with you as soon as I can. For now, enjoy these and I’ll see you next time.

January 17th, 2012

And now for something completely different

While you were reading that rambling stream-of-consciousness post on Hagara and Zon’ozz, I probably neglected to mention that over here at Grandeur we had sorta been working on two bosses at the same time. Hagara, as you saw, fell last week, but we had been very close on Ultraxion the previous reset as well. And as the fight is a simple gear and stupidity check for the most part, he went down in short order this past Sunday. He went down hard, too. Sorta like my wife’s precious Packers.

I present to you the evidence:

As I referenced earlier, Ultraxion is rather simple. There are two mechanics to deal with of any note. Both are handled the same way. It is, in the parlance of the elite boys, a retard check. But in the midst of this retard check one has to consider the other, more epic, portion of the fight. That is this:

If you are DPS, you have to push your buttons really, really, really, really fast.

So in tribute to our DPS, I present to you this masterpiece.

Faceroll Master
(Sung to the tune of Pinball Wizard, performed by The Who, music and lyrics by Pete Townshend…edited lyrics by yours truly. If you’re interested in hearing the real song, it can be found below in a youtube embed.)

Ever since I was a young priest
I’ve played the healer role.
From Outland up to Northrend,
I’ve seen the damage scroll.
Well I ain’t seen nothin’ like him
In any raid instance hole.
That deaf dumb and blind derps
Sure does a mean faceroll.

He sits at his keyboard,
Becomes part of the machine,
Feelin’ all the hotkeys,
Senses GCD,
Plays by intuition
With perfect self-control.
That deaf dumb and blind derps
Sure does a mean faceroll.

He’s a faceroll master.
The skada meters twist.
A faceroll master
Makes every ranking list.

How do you think he does it? I don’t know.
What makes him so good?

Ain’t got no distractions,
Can’t hear the raid leader yell,
Don’t seen no warnings flashin’,
Plays by sense of smell,
Always tops the meters
On remote control.
That deaf dumb and blind derps
Sure does a mean faceroll.

I thought raids were
About your paladins,
But mobs just give up
When he types out “I win.”

Even on the hardest battle,
He can beat the best.
His disciples lead him in,
And faceroll does the rest.
He’s got crazy hotkey fingers
And a gamer’s soul.
That deaf dumb and blind derps
Sure does a mean faceroll.

The original song performed by The Who:

And while this fight certainly doesn’t make for the most exciting of videos, we have the work of Herat, our tank:

Teribleterry’s masterpiece is still forthcoming.

We’ll see you next time with details on how to book a pleasure cruise across the skies of Northrend courtesy of your buddy Deathwing.

EDIT: It took a bit, but here’s the latest from Teribleterry.

January 13th, 2012

Seriously with the dancing fights…

So we’re back again, and yes I’m running behind. I’ve been trapped without remorse by the mad masters at Bethesda in Skyrim during most of my non-WoW, non-heroic-research-and-planning-mode time. However, I had a few extra minutes this afternoon and I started to feel guilty. I know you crazy people…all four of you…await my crazed ramblings after each of our heroic kills. In fact, I suspect that you sit on the WowProgress Kilrogg page, furiously hitting F5 just so you can tab over to this blog whenever we get a kill for your latest fix.

(If, in fact, the above descriptor applies to any of you, you need to seek professional help.)

Anyway, I was feeling guilty for depriving you of my madness, so here we go!

Really. Dancing fights. Fights where you have to move in some sort of crazed pre-arranged series of exact moves to kill the boss. Hagara and Zon’ozz both fall into this category. These are the two trials that your friends at Grandeur have most recently endured. Let’s consider them a moment.

WARLORD ZON’OZZ

Zon’ozz is a nifty little fight on the surface…the surface being “normal mode” where you get to play Blizzard’s demented version of ping-pong with a ball of light that seems to go off in random directions without any provocation from you or the rest of your friends. (Speaking of which, both of these fights, Hagara and Zon’ozz, are buggy as all hell…quality control much Blizzard?) So you think to yourself, how bad could heroic be? You still get to play ping-pong and everything. Then you let the ball hit the boss and your screen looks something like this:

Think about that for a minute. Trapped in a closet playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with Alex Forrest. Scary. Scarier still if you’re a bunny.

But really, it’s not quite ALL dark. It’s more like being in a disco. Or at a rave with a homicidal maniac. And while all this stuff is going on around you and you basically can’t see shit except for your UI, you have to dance around the room to specific spots. Sorta like this:

Well, that’s not entirely accurate because the boss is there too. More like this:

Now that’s old school. Anyway, after many lessons and some tweaking of our dance moves, we were ready for prime time. The end product:

HAGARA

Going through this instance is like traveling back in time. With Zon’ozz, we went back to the seventies and did some disco. Then we got to Hagara. Hagara isn’t like disco. Hagara is more like….square dancing.

Go check out that link above the picture. In square dancing you get all these particular places you have to move to in exact time. And they’re even diagrammed on that page with little colored boxes and circles. Sort of like the Hagara lightning phase strategy we used:

The frost phase was equally entertaining, at least for our melee, where they ran around in a circle while the ranged and healers stood in the middle of Hagara’s frost bubble and laughed at them. Even the main phase was like a dance with all the crazy taunting and switching. Although with the number of times I heard Riptide scream in Mumble “I NEED A SWITCH!” I began to wonder if we were fighting a boss or participating in some sort of strange early 70’s partner swapping ritual where Tide’s car keys were being yanked out by some really hideous hag.

The end result was the same as with Zon’ozz though. We learned the right moves and danced our way to victory:

We’ll be back soon, hopefully Sunday, with perhaps the most boring kill post ever for Ultraxion. Ultraxion isn’t dancing on heroic. It’s more like watching one of those joystick jockeys play Defender back in the early 1980s.

Check out all the buttons on that bad boy and imagine how fast you have to hit them. That’s Ultraxion.

I leave you with a pair of videos from our Hagara kills, the first from our tank Herat, the second from our hunter Teribleterry. They’re sorta like watching Fatal Attraction. You might want to ignore the last few moments of the film.

No bunnies were harmed in the making of these videos.

See you soon, loyal readers.

December 29th, 2011

Quick Kill Post

Once again, my wife has demanded movie time, impacting my ability to do a timely kill post. To my loyal readers (reader?…there might be only one) I apologize, but enjoy this video of our kill from Teribleterry while you wait for my unique brand of humor to entertain and offend you once more.