February 10th, 2011

What every WoW Guild needs…

So I’ve been thinking a good deal lately about the guild, and I’m pretty sure there’s just a little something missing. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it, but last night, as Halfus Wyrmbreaker went down like a freshman girl who got invited to the prom by the captain of the football team, I figured it out.

This is what every guild needs for success and inspiration. Nothing can beat the longevity of his career or the monumental size of his plastic surgery budget. What is it that every guild needs, you ask? Two words, my friends:

More Shatner.

To successfully navigate any World of Warcraft heroic raid encounter, all you really have to do is think like Shatner. Take, for example, Halfus. What we see is a far cry from than what Shatner sees. This makes all the difference. Consider the boss from the perspective of the mighty Shatner:

Even the boss’ cronies look different to Shatner. Allow me to illustrate:

It should really come as no surprise that Shatner should be our guide. Just consider what the man has managed to do during his career. First there was Kirk. Then, in a fit of inspiration, he made the LA streets safe again with copious overacting!

And while he was doing it, he was assisted by Heather Locklear…and this was before she got all used and worn out by Tommy Lee. I mean just check out the hair.

Tell me that The Shatner(tm) wasn’t tapping that and I’ll tell you you’re insane. Then the man took his 20 year pension from the LCPD and got his law degree in night school! (And if you don’t know what the LCPD is, Shatner would tell you to LEARN THE LORE. That’s worse than not knowing that Nef and Ony are brother and sister!)

Thus was born the immortal Denny Crane out of the bowels of the master of the clipped delivery!

So is it any wonder that it took 25 of us several attempts and many deaths to accomplish what The Shatner could have done with a simple cry of anger:

The end result, however, is the same.

Yes, we have learned from Shatner. But let us hope sincerely that we do not follow the entirety of his path. Consider this.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. *sniff* Chimaeron next friends. See you again soon!

EDIT: One of our hunters, Teribleterry, put together a video of our kill from last night. It’s much better than anything I ever did back in the day. We’ll have to start calling him Talentedterry now. The vid is below:

Sadly, there is no Shatner in the video. Talented you are Terry, but the lack of Shatner is fail. He is clearly upset.

Comments are closed.