December 7th, 2011

Double your pleasure!

As if you didn’t see this coming…

Okay, first of all, I want to apologize to my fellow raiders for my absence last night, the first available night of heroic raiding. As I said, I had a work-related dinner to attend to that I just couldn’t get out of. And now, in the spirit of the eighth step of twelve, I give you my confession. I actually wasn’t at a dinner last night. I had something infinitely more important to do. Witness:

The little tiger is just too much fun. Anyway. Onward.

Even in my absence, my beloved guildmates (No, not you Gano. You know that you and I are only physical.) managed to take down the first of our eight heroics in short order. Or would it be the first two of nine? I’m not sure because as most of you out there in WoW land know, Morchok calls for the aid of his faithful twin, Kohcrom, when challenged on heroic!

Naturally, this got me thinking. (But honestly, if you read this page a lot, you could ask “what doesn’t get Zest thinking?” It’s a scary thing to consider.) I started considering twins and how, by all reports, the Morchok encounter is relatively tame as heroics go. So perhaps Blizzard missed the boat here. Twins is a great idea. I mean, we all know it’s been done before, and in a very challenging form with Twin Emperors:

And later again with the even more entertaining Eredar Twins, they of the ledge sploit:

Both of these previous twin events were somewhat more challenging. So what could Blizzard have done better? I think I can come up with a few options:

How about these guys? You have to fight them while Tiki evades 75% of your attacks and Ronde randomly charges a member of your raid and lays him out until gnomish trainers come off the sidelines with smelling salts. This would put a debuff on you and if you get three stacks of smelling salts, the gnomes would bring THE CART. That would rule. Oh, and like all twins, they have to die at the same time. (Except the Eredar Twins who, for some reason, didn’t have to die at the same time. I never understood that.)

Another idea…

Clearly when you fought these two, there’d be a gum vendor around and every time the twins smiled saucily at a male toon, the male toon would have to go run over to the vendor and buy gum before they could attack or cast spells.

On second thought, this wouldn’t do much to our guild. Everyone in the guild’s a mangina except Gano and Herat so we’d just sub the two boys out and one shot the twins. (Wow. An unfortunate choice of words clearly when we speak of one-shotting the twins.) Moving on.

What about these two? One’s got an annoying whine that does AE damage to the entire raid and the other has a frontal vomit cone.

Oh yes, I went there. But can you imagine the DBM warning in the middle of your screen? “MARY-KATE PREPARES TO PURGE!” That would rule.

So my wife came in here while I was doing this post. I found most of these pics by searching google for “pictures of twins.” Naturally, this resulted in a vast field of pictures of scantily clad young ladies. My wife, however, being always alert, immediately focused in on this option and said “You have to post that for Venny.” So, thanks to my wife, here you go Venny:

Just my personal opinion, but I don’t think those two have much interest in anything the ladies have to offer. Note that we here at Grandeur are equal opportunity employers. Thus, I give you the balance to the option above:

But the real question is what would provide the best challenge for our raiding members and the World of Warcraft community at large? Which twins would be most devastating as an in-game raid encounter? Well, in our never-ending quest to bring you every answer to just these types of in-depth questions, I’ve managed to unearth the twin encounter that I’m sure would leave the vast majority of the WoW playerbase (to use some old AD&D parlance) “stunned, reeling, and unable to think.”

I give you the most devastating twin encounter possible:

Uh yeah…so kill shot and video stuff to follow. More posts in the near future. I’m….uh…afk a bit. *Mumbles something about nerdy lesbian twins*

Herat, our druid tank, provides this video of our Heroic Morchok kill for your entertainment.

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