January 13th, 2012

Seriously with the dancing fights…

So we’re back again, and yes I’m running behind. I’ve been trapped without remorse by the mad masters at Bethesda in Skyrim during most of my non-WoW, non-heroic-research-and-planning-mode time. However, I had a few extra minutes this afternoon and I started to feel guilty. I know you crazy people…all four of you…await my crazed ramblings after each of our heroic kills. In fact, I suspect that you sit on the WowProgress Kilrogg page, furiously hitting F5 just so you can tab over to this blog whenever we get a kill for your latest fix.

(If, in fact, the above descriptor applies to any of you, you need to seek professional help.)

Anyway, I was feeling guilty for depriving you of my madness, so here we go!

Really. Dancing fights. Fights where you have to move in some sort of crazed pre-arranged series of exact moves to kill the boss. Hagara and Zon’ozz both fall into this category. These are the two trials that your friends at Grandeur have most recently endured. Let’s consider them a moment.

WARLORD ZON’OZZ

Zon’ozz is a nifty little fight on the surface…the surface being “normal mode” where you get to play Blizzard’s demented version of ping-pong with a ball of light that seems to go off in random directions without any provocation from you or the rest of your friends. (Speaking of which, both of these fights, Hagara and Zon’ozz, are buggy as all hell…quality control much Blizzard?) So you think to yourself, how bad could heroic be? You still get to play ping-pong and everything. Then you let the ball hit the boss and your screen looks something like this:

Think about that for a minute. Trapped in a closet playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with Alex Forrest. Scary. Scarier still if you’re a bunny.

But really, it’s not quite ALL dark. It’s more like being in a disco. Or at a rave with a homicidal maniac. And while all this stuff is going on around you and you basically can’t see shit except for your UI, you have to dance around the room to specific spots. Sorta like this:

Well, that’s not entirely accurate because the boss is there too. More like this:

Now that’s old school. Anyway, after many lessons and some tweaking of our dance moves, we were ready for prime time. The end product:

HAGARA

Going through this instance is like traveling back in time. With Zon’ozz, we went back to the seventies and did some disco. Then we got to Hagara. Hagara isn’t like disco. Hagara is more like….square dancing.

Go check out that link above the picture. In square dancing you get all these particular places you have to move to in exact time. And they’re even diagrammed on that page with little colored boxes and circles. Sort of like the Hagara lightning phase strategy we used:

The frost phase was equally entertaining, at least for our melee, where they ran around in a circle while the ranged and healers stood in the middle of Hagara’s frost bubble and laughed at them. Even the main phase was like a dance with all the crazy taunting and switching. Although with the number of times I heard Riptide scream in Mumble “I NEED A SWITCH!” I began to wonder if we were fighting a boss or participating in some sort of strange early 70’s partner swapping ritual where Tide’s car keys were being yanked out by some really hideous hag.

The end result was the same as with Zon’ozz though. We learned the right moves and danced our way to victory:

We’ll be back soon, hopefully Sunday, with perhaps the most boring kill post ever for Ultraxion. Ultraxion isn’t dancing on heroic. It’s more like watching one of those joystick jockeys play Defender back in the early 1980s.

Check out all the buttons on that bad boy and imagine how fast you have to hit them. That’s Ultraxion.

I leave you with a pair of videos from our Hagara kills, the first from our tank Herat, the second from our hunter Teribleterry. They’re sorta like watching Fatal Attraction. You might want to ignore the last few moments of the film.

No bunnies were harmed in the making of these videos.

See you soon, loyal readers.

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